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God expects us to build our lives on his word.
Matthew 7:24
Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock.
And through His word God gives us specific guidance in all the areas of our life, including when to marry whom to marry and also if we are married how we need to be a great example in the kingdom of God.
We all belong to some group mentioned below:
1. Teen age \ below the age to get married \ not yet ready to get married(for various reasons)
2. 'Married' ( both husband and wife are disciples)
3. Married Man\Woman but spouse (Husband\wife) is not a disciple
4. Widow \ Widower
5. Single- eligible to get married(Ready and looking out to get married)
I. Teen age \ below age
Matthew 5:27-30
27 "You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.'
28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
29 If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.
30 And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.
# Focus not on marriage but purity
# At this point don't much think about your marriage, but think about purity
# Keep away from lustful thoughts, sinful desires
# Jesus expects you to be very hard-line on sin
2 Timothy 2:22
Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.
# Flee from evil desires to have pure heart
# These are your youthful years - Pursue righteousness & pure love
# It is time for you to focus on church activities, getting to know more disciples, spending time with them, getting more friends in the church and special activities like sports etc.
1 Timothy 5:1-2
1 Do not rebuke an older man harshly, but exhort him as if he were your father. Treat younger men as brothers,
2 older women as mothers and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity.
# Bible expects you to have absolute purity
# Women - In your heart treat men as your brothers
# Men - In your heart treat women as your sisters
Ephesians 5:3
But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people.
1 Timothy 4:12
Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.
# It is very special you became a Christian when you are still young
# Don't let anyone to look down on you because you are young
# It is time to set great example - watch your life
# Remember that your life will inspire many people in the city of Chennai
1 Corinthians 7:25-28
25 Now about virgins: I have no command from the Lord, but I give a judgment as one who by the Lord's mercy is trustworthy.
26 Because of the present crisis, I think that it is good for you to remain as you are.
27 Are you married? Do not seek a divorce. Are you unmarried? Do not look for a wife.
28 But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this.
# It is OK if you decide not to get married, instead focus on Godly things.
# To get married you need to prepare yourself, get a job, save some money etc.
# This scripture says that with marriage many problems and troubles come as you have to take care of your family and provide them with daily needs.
II. Married
1 Corinthians 7:1-5
1 Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good for a man not to marry.
2 But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband.
3 The husband should fulfil his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband.
4 The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife.
5 Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
# with marriage there is responsibility. You can't be selfish, but to give to each other in every area of your life.
# Husbands love your wives, standard of love is very high. Challenge for wives is to be submissive to their husbands
1 Corinthians 13:4-7
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Ephesians 5:22-33
22 Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.
23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.
24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her
26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word,
27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.
28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
29 After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church--
30 for we are members of his body.
31 "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh."
32 This is a profound mystery--but I am talking about Christ and the church.
33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
Mark 10:2-9
2 Some Pharisees came and tested him by asking, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?"
3 "What did Moses command you?" he replied.
4 They said, "Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce and send her away."
5 "It was because your hearts were hard that Moses wrote you this law," Jesus replied.
6 "But at the beginning of creation God 'made them male and female.'
7 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife,
8 and the two will become one flesh.' So they are no longer two, but one.
9 Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."
# For God Marriage is top priority, it is something pure and holy
# After creating He thought about marriage and brought Adam and Eve together
Matthew 5:31-32
31 "It has been said, 'Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.'
32 But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commit adultery.
III. Single Married(spouse is not a disciple)
For wives
1 Peter 3:1-2
1 Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behaviour of their wives,
2 when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.
Wives. Through your submissiveness, purity and reverence you may win them.
Husbands
1 Peter 3:7
Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.
Bible expects you to treat your wife with respect and be considerate as you live with your wife even if she is non-christian. So you may win her over.
IV. Widows
1 Corinthians 7:39
A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord.
V. Singles who are eligible to get Married
Bible speaks in very clear terms that Disciples to marry Disciples only
1 Kings 11:1-6
1 King Solomon, however, loved many foreign women besides Pharaoh's daughter-- Moabites, Ammonites, Edomites, Sidonians and Hittites.
2 They were from nations about which the LORD had told the Israelites, "You must not intermarry with them, because they will surely turn your hearts after their Gods." Nevertheless, Solomon held fast to them in love.
3 He had seven hundred wives of royal birth and three hundred concubines, and his wives led him astray.
4 As Solomon grew old, his wives turned his heart after other Gods, and his heart was not fully devoted to the LORD his God, as the heart of David his father had been.
5 He followed Ashtoreth the Goddess of the Sidonians, and Molech the detestable God of the Ammonites.
6 So Solomon did evil in the eyes of the LORD; he did not follow the LORD completely, as David his father had done.
Ezra 9:1-4
1 After these things had been done, the leaders came to me and said, "The people of Israel, including the priests and the Levites, have not kept themselves separate from the neighbouring peoples with their detestable practices, like those of the Canaanites, Hittites, Perizzites, Jebusites, Ammonites, Moabites, Egyptians and Amorites.
2 They have taken some of their daughters as wives for themselves and their sons, and have mingled the holy race with the peoples around them. And the leaders and officials have led the way in this unfaithfulness."
3 When I heard this, I tore my tunic and cloak, pulled hair from my head and beard and sat down appalled.
4 Then everyone who trembled at the words of the God of Israel gathered around me because of this unfaithfulness of the exiles. And I sat there appalled until the evening sacrifice.
2 Corinthians 6:14-18
14 Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?
15 What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever?
16 What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. As God has said: "I will live with them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they will be my people."
17 "Therefore come out from them and be separate, says the Lord. Touch no unclean thing, and I will receive you."
18 "I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty."
As disciples we have a mission...
- to seek and save the lost
- to go and make disciples
- to be fisher's of men
- to love others as Jesus loved
- to hold on to the teachings of Bible
- to take up our cross and follow Jesus everyday
- to have a great relationship with God
- to read Bible everyday and put what we read into practice in our daily life
- to respect and obey our leaders and take advise in our daily life
When as disciples we have all the above priorities - if we dilute down our convictions then we are not really disciples of Jesus and God will not consider us as Christians. If we get married to a non-disciple he\she will not have above convictions and hence there will be a clash of convictions.
Bible says do not yoke with unbelievers. Marriage relationship is nothing but getting into a Yoke. Life will not sail smooth and we will be dragged this and that way.
To have a smooth sailing, to raise up a Godly family, to do great things for God there is only one way, 'Marry only a Disciple'.
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